What is a Modest Dress?
Question
I am confused about some of the practicalities of being a Muslim. I am an American convert now for almost two years. I went to the beach with my family as usual and I wore a conservative one piece bathing suit that I thought relatively speaking acknowledged the modesty requirement. My Muslim husband believed that it was not modest enough. Please give me your view point?
Response
I have to say that I find myself in much difficulty trying to address this question knowing that the questioner has been raised in the American culture. This difficulty arises from the fact that American culture and the set of values proposed by Islam are incompatible in many areas. The problem also comes from the fact that once one has been raised in a certain culture, it is indeed difficult for them to be able to even understand well a different set of moral and ethical values, let alone appreciate it.
Having said that, please bear with me while I attempt to explain some background before addressing your question directly.
In my opinion, the fundamental difference between western culture and the values proposed by Islam emanates from the source of the law. In western culture, the source is the people themselves, while in Islam, the source is God. As Muslims, we believe that Quran is the word of God which provides us with a set of moral and ethical values that not only prepares us for the ever-lasting Hereafter, but also helps us live in this world better. As a side note, in this regard, it becomes very important that you as a Muslim try your best to understand Quran and understand what God wants from us. It will also help you understand what Islam really is. I will be more than happy to help you if you have any questions regarding understanding Quran.
Man-made law and God-made law by their very nature usually revolve around different objectives. Man-made law is generally focused on the rewards that one gets immediately, i.e. the rewards that one gets in this very life. These may be materialistic, physical or spiritual - that is upto man to get what he believes in. God-made law, however, attempts to cleanse one's soul so that it is able to achieve success in the Hereafter. At the same time, it also attempts to bring contentment to one's life and the lives of those around them. It does not, however, stop one from earning money or focusing on things that may bring them fruit in this world so long as they do not compromise principles which ought to keep harm away from themselves, their loved ones and the society they live in.
Having discussed this, Quran has laid down principles regarding interaction between men and women which are 'non-mehram' to each other(which shall be explained in the verse that follows.) By these laws, Quran wants us to cleanse our souls so that women are not seen as objects of sex, and neither do they attempt to derive men's attention towards themselves. In Quran's words, the injunctions go as following:
Looking at this commandment, there are a few things that I believe should be fulfilled: woman's chest is to be covered by her head-covering, her ornaments are not to be visible except what is 'ordinary', her body is covered, and that she does not attract attention. It is indeed subjective if, in a particular dress, she is attracting attention or not, and it is something that only you can decide when you dress up. More importantly, the dress should not be so that a woman's figure or body shows.
As I stated earlier, only you can judge whether your suit did fulfill these requirements or not. Please do understand that Quran has laid down these principles not to hinder women from enjoying, rather so that 'they may be successful!'
You can frankly talk about this issue with your husband and ask for his cooperation. In addition, you can also discuss what is modest and what is not with your husband so you can both agree on what is acceptable to both of you.
Similar injunctions are also provided for men around how to be modest in public (for instance, see 24:30) for the same reason that it will cleanse the intentions of men so they do not view women as sex objects. It is indeed towards this end that Muslims attempt to call males by the title 'brother' and females by the title 'sister' so they actually do respect each other and view each others as they would really view their own family members.
In the end, once again, I just cannot overstress the importance of your reading Quran yourself to understand Islam better. You might also want to invite your husband to join you in this quest and it shall bring you both closer too. After all you have accepted Islam, it will be most important that you understand what its foundations are laid upon.